there are two types of people in the world

it's been a couple weeks since and i'm still recuperating from my 25th birthday a la first quarter century mark. during this new independence there have been a lot of awesome moments, those highs where everything shines with boundless potential. they're little life-affirming things, but when i stack them up they're all the more seductive because they fool me into thinking my life might always be this good.

i have to constantly remind myself that this infatuation can be unmasked as emotional trompe l'oeil at any moment. after having faced with the painful process of reexamining my priorities and assessing where, in its fresh 25 years, my life had gone so astray, i remembered one thing: i hella don't give a fuck.

i've been all over the emotional map for most of 2008 (a shitty year for everyone apparently). and it sucks when some of the most painful details of my personal life are being cycled through so many different people. at times, i'm pissed because it feels like nothing good could come out of all of this. but after going through all of that bullshit, i found out who my true friends are. i won't let anyone's negative perception of me or their lack of understanding sabatoge my road trip to the rings. i'm a true believer that things happen for a reason and that you should always follow your instincts. and from where i'm standing, my instincts haven't failed me yet.

but to be fair, i've made my mistakes. A LOT of mistakes at that. and i've spent a lot of time regretting some of my decisions. we are always given a choice and by making a decision we turn our backs on other possibilities. but that sense of regret has become that nagging feeling that guides me in the right direction everytime i'm having one of those "moments". i've learned from my mistakes and have taken the right amount of time to forgive myself. i'm living my life now with integrity and without expectations.

so what does it take to follow your dreams? shit, i have no clue. but figuring it out kind of sucks, lots of hard work and too much stress. getting ahead only means that a) i'm back at the beginning with a whole new mountain to tackle and b) there's an expectation now, and if i do anything short of out-performing myself, i'm a lazy loser.

but i do like winning. a lot, actually. and i've built relationships with likeminded, passionate and creative ass people whom share the same outlook on life. we all support each other, learn from each other, call each other out when their skills aren't up to par. but most importantly, we all work together as a collective to reconnect this new generation of creative voices to the general public.

i'm not saying our exultation of the chase is the only, or even healthy way of living. but personally, i'd hate to get caught out there, kickin it at the backseat all lonely like, while the stars perform. so the choice is yours - watch from the sidelines, or show what you got.